


Pertinent to be Aware

by Leonawriter



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Aroace Cloud, Discussion of Aromanticism, Love Confessions, Other, Unrequited Love, strifesodos - onesided
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 21:53:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15252819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leonawriter/pseuds/Leonawriter
Summary: Genesis admits to Cloud that he’s been in love with him for quite some time now. Cloud, in turn, doesn’t know how to respond.





	Pertinent to be Aware

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a prompt list, but I'm also thinking it could fit in with some of my other fics with these two, such as 'Spar With Me', and 'First Encounters'.

“I never meant to fall in love with you,” Genesis said, distant and bittersweet. “I just did.” 

He sighs, closes his eyes, and leans out over the balcony. In the distance, he can see the harbour, and he knows precisely which way to turn in order to see where the mako cannon had once stood, in one piece and unscathed by battles that had never touched it. 

He doesn’t look back. The words are out now, though, the truth hanging in the air like the aftermath of a spell in effect.

“I… I’m sorry, I don’t… I don’t know what to say.”

Genesis smiles, nostalgia telling him _that sounds like something He would say_ , and being unable to air the thought. 

“It’s fine,” he says, “you don’t have to do anything about it. I simply thought that it would be pertinent for you to be aware.”

He’s unsure by now just how much of what he’s saying is the truth, and how much is a lie, and how many of his words he simply _wishes_  were true.

 _It’s fine,_  he thought, as if repeating it would make it become any more real for him. 

He had wishes enough, after all, dreams and daydreams and _intentions_ -

“I… how long…?”

He shrugged, as if it were a careless question deserving of a careless answer, such as when some had once asked him _how long have you wished to be Sephiroth rival._

 _“_ I can’t say for sure, exactly,” he says, which is true. “Over time, I came to grow attached to all of you. But in particular, I suppose we share certain… commonalities, and that made me see some sort of connection.” _From the start,_ he wanted to say, _ever since the first time I saw you fight,_ but Cloud is already finding this awkward enough, and there is no reason to add to the uncomfortable atmosphere. 

“I don’t- I don’t really know if I - I always used to think that when I was older, I’d get it. I thought… I thought I wanted to be with Tifa, but then I grew up, and then everything- happened. And I still didn’t know what I wanted. Even when she seemed to. And when, with Aerith - I loved her, but even now, I’m not sure how much of that was me and how much was _Zack_ -” 

Cloud cut himself off, clearly distressed, and it was _now_  that Genesis turned around.

“I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, that’s not… I’m the one who should be apologising here. I’m the one who… who can’t - can’t give anyone what they need.”

Genesis frowned, feeling angry enough that he wished there was someone he could blame for this, someone who he could take his sword to - but there was no one. It was so much harder to deal with a problem when there was no one to blame and nothing to point his sword at in order to fix it.

“Well, whoever let you think _that_  is an absolute idiot.” He appreciated the way Cloud’s eyes widened. “I knew someone once who was much the same, you know. The best actress in LOVELESS Avenue, she could play the part of the Heroine and place all others to shame. But out of character, she once told me that she had never been able to feel that way for anyone for herself, but that she was perfectly happy, despite what everyone told her.”

He had to wonder what she was doing now. If she’d survived first Meteor, then Deepground. 

He wondered what it would be like, to not have that bone-deep desire to _be with someone_ , to not be _alone._

It had been Marie who had been his point of reference in realising that the same could be true for _Sephiroth_ , with the way that he’d known the other SOLDIER back then, but he never had thought to introduce the two. SOLDIERs and the entertainment industry rarely mixed, after all, and Genesis had always been the odd one out in that, too.

“So you see,” he continued, “if it’s just a matter of not having found that right person yet, then it isn’t as though anyone can do anything about _that_. But if it’s not, then you simply have to accept yourself.” He shrugged slightly, a smile on his face. “In my case, however… I’ll consider still being able to spar and to carry on as we were a non-failure.”

It felt like far too long before Cloud spoke again, and when he did, he seemed to choose his words carefully.

“You said - ‘it would be pertinent for me to be aware’.” Cloud blinked. “Why?”

Genesis couldn’t help his smile growing wider. Sharper, even.

“If there is one thing that I have learned of myself in the past several years of my life that I can remember, it is that I am a selfish person, Cloud. I thought you would prefer to know that before we somehow wound up in a situation where you were going to assume that I might prioritise anyone else’s life above yours.”


End file.
